If a partner or former partner is frightening, controlling or hurting you, you can ask for help. You do not have to decide what to call every incident before speaking to a specialist service. Worries about your children, housing or money deserve to be heard too.
If you or your children are in immediate danger
Call 999 if someone is in immediate danger. This website’s comments and contact form are not emergency support services. If reading this page could put you at risk, consider whether you can use a safer device or contact a specialist service in another safe way.
Specialist support for men
- Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327, Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm. Support for male victims of domestic abuse and people supporting them. Visit Men’s Advice Line for current contact options.
- ManKind: 0808 800 1170, weekdays, 10am to 4pm, excluding bank holidays. Its national helpline supports men experiencing domestic abuse; helpline support is not available by email. Check ManKind’s contact details.
Opening hours can change. These are specialist advice lines, not substitutes for 999 in an emergency. You can start by saying you are unsure whether what is happening counts as abuse and would like to talk it through.
Abuse can happen without physical violence
Threats, humiliation, controlling access to money, isolation and monitoring can be part of domestic abuse. It can happen in different kinds of relationships. You do not have to fit a stereotype of a victim to deserve support. Men’s Advice Line explains abuse and routes to help.
You may be trying to keep daily life going while wondering whether you are overreacting. A specialist conversation gives you somewhere to explain what is happening without having to make every decision at once.
Contacting a service safely
Tell the adviser whether it is safe to call you back, leave a message or send information. If a device or account may be monitored, ask about a safer way to stay in touch. Do not assume that closing a page or deleting browsing history removes every trace.
Ask for help with a safety plan suited to your circumstances. This article cannot judge what is safe in your home, so it does not tell you to confront someone, announce that you are leaving or collect evidence on a device they can access.
Children, housing and money
Tell the adviser if you are worried about your children, where you could stay or access to money. Ask which local services and specialist legal advice are appropriate. Family and housing law depend on the circumstances and the part of the UK; an online article cannot predict contact arrangements or a court decision.
If it is safe, you could prepare three questions: “What help is available locally? How can I discuss my children’s safety? Who can advise me about housing or money?” You can also make the call without preparing anything.
If a dad tells you he is being abused
Listen without making jokes or questioning his masculinity. Ask what would help, check how it is safe to contact him and offer to help him find specialist support. Avoid taking over decisions or contacting the person he is frightened of.
If you are worried about your own abusive behaviour
This is a different support need. Respect Phoneline helps people concerned about their own abusive behaviour: 0808 802 4040, Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm. It is separate from Men’s Advice Line.
For additional support with how you are coping, see mental health help for dads. Mental health support does not replace specialist help with abuse.
Updated 9 September 2026. Sources checked for this update are linked beside the relevant guidance.
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