A MIAM can feel like another hurdle when you already feel as if you are being kept from your child. It is better understood as a short assessment meeting: a chance to see whether mediation or another way of agreeing may be safe and suitable before going to court.
Important: This is general information, not legal advice. Family-court outcomes depend on individual circumstances. Speak to a qualified legal adviser for advice about your situation.
What MIAM means
MIAM stands for Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. GOV.UK says that before many child-arrangements applications you may need to attend one. A mediator explains how mediation works, discusses the situation and considers whether it could help.
It is not a hearing. The mediator is not the judge and does not decide who is right. They are not there to make either parent accept an arrangement.
What usually happens at the meeting
- You speak to a qualified family mediator about what is in dispute.
- The mediator explains mediation, possible formats and other options.
- They assess whether mediation is safe and appropriate.
- They may explain whether the court application needs MIAM confirmation or whether an exemption could apply.
Be honest. Saying what you think will make you look good is less useful than explaining the actual communication, safety and practical issues.
When mediation can help
Mediation can be useful where both parents need structure to discuss routines, holidays, handovers, school matters, financial issues or communication. It can be more flexible than a court timetable and gives parents a chance to shape an agreement themselves.
It is not a promise that you will agree, nor does attendance mean you are weak or giving up an important point. It is simply one possible route.
When it may not be suitable
Mediation is not right for every situation. Concerns about domestic abuse, coercive control, safeguarding, serious power imbalance, an urgent risk or a person being unable to participate safely need careful consideration. There are exemptions to the MIAM requirement in some circumstances. A mediator can explain the process, but individual advice may still be needed.
Prepare without turning it into a pitch
Take a short written list of the decisions that need resolving. Include the child’s usual routine, what has already been tried and what practical arrangement you would be willing to discuss. Avoid a long history of the relationship unless it directly affects safety or the child.
- What is going well for your child now?
- What needs a predictable agreement?
- What proposal can you explain clearly?
- What safety or practical issues need separate advice?
The family mediation voucher
As checked on 14 September 2026, GOV.UK says families may be able to receive a voucher worth up to £500 towards family mediation, regardless of income. Availability and eligibility can change, so ask the mediator and check current official guidance.
If mediation does not lead to agreement
You have not failed. The mediator may help you identify the points that remain unresolved. You can seek legal advice, try another form of dispute resolution or consider a court application where appropriate. Continue to keep communication lawful and child-focused.
For the wider route through separation and court, read our guide to child arrangements and family court.
Related support
Start with our guide to child arrangements and family court. See the guide on preparing for a first child-arrangements hearing if mediation is not the right route.
Last checked 14 September 2026. Rules, forms, fees and processes can change.
Important: This is general information, not legal advice. Family-court outcomes depend on individual circumstances. Speak to a qualified legal adviser for advice about your situation.
Related articles in this hub
- A Dad’s Guide to Child Arrangements and Family Court in England and Wales
- How to Prepare for Your First Child Arrangements Hearing
- Co-Parenting When Communication Has Broken Down
Last checked: 14 September 2026. This information is for England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland have different systems.
Official sources: GOV.UK: making child arrangements and GOV.UK: MIAMs and applying for a court order.
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